Man Cannot Live On Pizza Alone, Either

A handy checklist for what NOT to do in the 24 hours following a 3 day juice fast:

* ravenously start eating a large pizza 1 second after the fast is over
* quickly eat 10/12 of the aforementioned pizza and promptly fall asleep next to the pizza box
* don't eat anything for the next 19 hours
* spraypaint your classroom's ugly yellow bookshelf outside with the wind blowing towards you
* eat the remaining two pieces
* play tennis for 2 and a half hours