Vincent Mottola, Part 2

I now severely dislike Mercury Insurance. I won't say hate, because once I say hate, where else can I go? I'll reserve that word for what appears to be an inevitable showdown with "Heidi" and her supervisor "Amber."

I'll try to write a Mark Manasse-esque blog and write down what I remember of my phone conversation today.

Heidi: This is Heidi.

Me: Hi, this is Darron Evans. We spoke a couple of weeks ago. I'm the guy who's been paying the car insurance for myself and some other guy for the last two ye--

Heidi: Yes, yes, I know who you are. I have you right here on my desk.

Me: So I got all the info you asked for. I have all the payments that were wrongfully taken out of my account listed in a spreadsheet. Can I email it to you?

Heidi: My supervisor says that we need the copies of your bank statements.

Me: I can't just email them to you? I have all the statements in PDF format and I can send them plus the spreadsheet I made.

Heidi: We can't get outside emails. Our email system doesn't allow outside emails. You need to either fax or mail the documents to us.

Me: That's an awful lot of papers. I've counted at least 28 payments taken erroneously out of my account. I need to fax or mail all of those bank statements?

Heidi: Yes, we need proof from your bank that the money came out of your account.

Me: Well, Heidi, I know that you're not responsible for this, but I would think that Mercury would have detailed records of payments. Doesn't Mercury have records of payments?

Heidi: Yes.

Me: And I would think that those records would show where the money came from. The money came from my account and it wasn't supposed to.

Heidi: Yes, but my supervisor needs proof that the money came out of your account.

Me: (brief pause as I try to figure out where to go to next) But, you received the money, right? Mercury hasn't just been giving this guy free auto insurance these last two years. You received the money. And you know it came from my account.

Heidi: Yes, but we didn't know that until recently. Because your policy number and his policy number were similar, it was inputted wrong and your bank account was linked to his policy, but we weren't aware what was happening.

Me: But now you know what was happening because I called you two weeks ago and told you.

Heidi, growing a bit frustrated: Yes, but we need proof. You need to send us the proof.

Me: Well, I gotta say, you guys sure are making me work hard to get my own money back. I know it's not your fault, Heidi, but I have to express my discontent. I let you know about Mercury's mistake more than two weeks ago and I still have not received my money. Mercury knows that the money should not have come out of my account. Mercury knows that I've been making payments for this guy. I've spent hours getting records from my bank and poring through bank statements to find out the information you requested when we last talked. I feel like I'm having to jump through a bunch of hoops to get my own money back. It would be a lot easier if I could just email you what I've got. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Heidi: (silence for at least 10 seconds)

Me: Who is your supervisor? What is her name?

Heidi: She doesn't... she, uh.... her name is Amber.

Me: May I talk to her please?

Heidi: Yes.

*on hold for several minutes*

Heidi: Sir, we have to have the actual documents. My supervisor says we can't receive outside emails.

Me: Even your supervisor can't receive outside emails?

Heidi: No.

Me: Well, may I talk to her please? Does she have a direct number that I can call?

Heidi: She's not here. (I kid you not; that's what she said!!!)

Me: She's not there?

Heidi: No, but you can leave her a voice mail.

Me: Ok.

And so I left Amber a very nice voice mail and she hasn't called me back and I really, really, really dislike Mercury Insurance.